Safety is Overrated (Why My Son Plays Football)

What’s the craziest thing you’ve googled lately? Confession time: I may have recently googled “what football positions experience the highest rate of injury?” My seventh grade son Jacob is beginning his junior high school football career and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a few reservations.

But I love football.

Jacob and I love to watch football together (Go Pack Go!).

But then that critical parent voice creeps into my thoughts. You know the one. The one that says, What kind of a mom are you? Don’t you know how dangerous football is?! You must be the absolute worst to let your son play and get injured. Because you know he will. Haven’t you seen Concussion? And the mental berating continues with this zinger: If you were a good mom you wouldn’t be excited to see him play—you’d be scared out of your mind—because don’t you know?! Football is dangerous!!

For the record—no, I haven’t seen Concussion (and I have no plans to) and I usually don’t read articles about football injuries because I can catastrophize with the best of ‘em, and I find that those stories feed my fears. And I don’t want to feed fear when it comes to parenting my children—or living my own life for that matter.

I refuse to let my fear of "what if" keep my son (and daughter) from living his or her life to the fullest (if I’m being honest, some days that statement is easier to live out than others). But frankly, the scenarios that I invent in my mind may never actually happen. In fact, they probably won’t (because I can come up with some pretty ridiculous scenarios!)

It’s true that he could get hurt playing football.

Seriously hurt.

It’s also true that I could save him from 100% of the pain that an injury would cause by keeping him off the field. BUT he could be injured walking down the street, or riding his bike, or snowboarding in the back yard. My point is, I can’t wrap him in bubble wrap and make him sit in the middle of the living room for his entire childhood.

Some people would say that football is an unnecessary, risky venture. But honestly, life is a risky venture if you’re doing it right!

“Vision leads to venture, and history is on the side of venturesome faith. The person of vision takes fresh steps of faith across gullies and chasms, not ‘playing it safe’ but neither taking foolish risks.” — J. Oswald Sanders Spiritual Leadership (p.57)

Our society values safety far too much. Entire government agencies have been created for our safety. As parents, I’m afraid we’ve allowed our need for safety and control to supersede our desire for our children to do hard, important things—or to follow the voice of God when he calls them to do bold, risky things. Wholeheartedly following God is sometimes not a “safe” endeavor. Just ask believers around the world who are persecuted for their faith.

To make safety our highest parental pursuit robs our children of a higher purpose found outside of themselves and the fulfillment experienced by obeying God and trusting him even when it’s hard or seems dangerous.

I’m not at all suggesting that we don’t have a responsibility to protect our children. Make them wear their seat belts and put on the bike helmets. That’s our job. But I don’t want to shield and protect my children from pain to the point that they no longer empathize with people who are suffering or care to be a solution to that suffering.

Followed to it’s logical end, the "Gospel of Safety" churns out self-absorbed, self-protective people who are unwilling to risk personal safety for the good of others. That’s not the kind of children I want to raise. I want to raise kids that value the voice of God over their very lives.

My daughter wants to be a missionary someday (gulp), and two-thirds of the world will be a very dangerous place for her to live. But if God is calling her—I want her to go. Not because it’s safe, but because it’s right. Will I be out of my mind thinking about her living overseas? Probably! But I know that her safety always has been—and always will be—in God’s hands, not mine.

And I’m not saying football is a godly pursuit (I’m not saying that it isn’t either). Or that God told us to let Jacob play. But who are we to decide what sphere of influence God wants to place him in? I’m not going to limit him—or God—by my fear.

Let’s parent this generation (and live our own lives) with an eye on the bigger picture, with our minds deeply engaged, thoughtfully tuned to how our attitudes and behaviors ultimately shape and affect our children and the generations to come. Let's inspire our kids to do more than arrive "safely" at their funeral. 

~Gut-Check and Action Steps~

1. As parents, it’s our job to protect our kids. But sometimes we can take it too far. How do you keep these two ideas in balance? I'd love to hear from you in the comments section!

2. Make a list of all of your fears as a parent/grandparent. Look at them realistically. Talk to God about them. Ask him if there are areas where you need to release some fear--then do it!

3. Have you allowed fear and the pursuit of safety to infiltrate your own life? Do you prize safety over hearing and following the voice of God?